


you break the rules & spikes grow from your skin

by mechup



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angry Sex, Begging, Dark!Thirteen, Face Slapping, Other, Rough Sex, Threats, but she's Goin Through It rn, idk where it is for Thirteen tho, no one read this thanks, probs after Ryan Yaz & Graham have left her & she's alone, she escaped what a surprise, she's also Goin Through It rn but she's not in physical pain like Missy is she's just emo, takes place a little after The Doctor Falls for Missy, there's a lot of mention of death idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21582343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechup/pseuds/mechup
Summary: The Doctor finds Missy again.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/Missy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	you break the rules & spikes grow from your skin

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song Monster by Dodie
> 
> literally was not planning on making this smut but i mentioned that i wanted to write a 13missy fic & Freya immediately responded "MAKE THEM FUCK" & this ended up happening so it's 100% her fault & i refuse to take responsibility for this. also thanks to Kris for helping us come up with ideas & being supportive as always! <3

She finds her alone and on the verge of death. 

It’s not an unfamiliar state to come across the Master in, but it is surprising to catch _this_ Master — who she believed she’d never see again — like this. All it takes is one look at her for the memories from her last self to resurface, and after a moment she realizes the thing that’s bubbling up through her entire body and flowing through her is _anger_. It tightens around her, submerging her in the hurt and abandonment and betrayal that she’s been harboring for all this time, demanding to make itself finally be acknowledged.

She doesn’t think she’s seen Missy ever look worse than she currently does; she’s encountered the Master in rough shape before (her predecessor and the crispy regeneration were some of the worst), but Missy has always been well-kept and proper, and it feels wrong to see her like this. The Doctor has half a mind to turn around, head right back into her TARDIS, and get far away from here so she can pretend like she hadn’t been here at all. She should leave Missy there the same way she had been left, except the Doctor doesn’t think she has it in her to simply walk away, even though that would be the most sensible thing for her to do.

“Missy,” she calls out, the name unfamiliar and foreign on her tongue. It sounds archaic now, a good thing that has turned bad with time. Missy turns to her and their eyes lock, and the Doctor — _everything_ : her hearts, her mind, her body — seems to completely stop. 

Missy appears to be in a similar condition, staring at the Doctor with widened eyes. She instantly recognizes her even despite her new face and she almost wouldn’t believe it’s actually her (because how _could_ it be?) but it has to be, because there’s no one else in the universe who has the ability to cause Missy’s hearts to speed up that fast.

“What are you doing here?” Missy asks after a few seconds of silence, her voice quiet and hesitant, as if she’s worried being any louder will break the spell and cause the Doctor to disappear. If she dreamed often, she’d be convinced she’s currently in the middle of one. There’s no reason for her to _actually_ be here, real and standing a few mere feet away from her. 

The Doctor frowns. Not _I’m sorry_ or _please forgive me_ or _I was wrong_ , but _what are you doing here_. She doesn’t know what she expected to happen if she ever ran into Missy again, but it certainly wasn’t this. 

“Just ended up here,” she answers truthfully. She wishes she could kiss or hug her or at least not feel so awkward, but the only thing she can do is stand there. Missy used to be the person who she knew best and who knew her best in return, but now she barely knows what to say to her anymore; she can hardly _recognize_ her. There had been a time where she could look at her and be reminded of who they used to be, back when they were both young boys under orange skies. She wishes things hadn’t changed so much that she now sees someone she’s never known before, a stranger, instead of the friend who had been with her for forever. She should leave, she _really_ wants to leave, she is so tempted to. But even despite herself, despite everything, she still loves her. “Are you coming? I can help fix you up.”

The offer hangs in the air, taking Missy by complete surprise. She remains silent at first, trying to figure out if this is what’s really happening. She isn’t sure how to respond; she immediately wants _so much_ to say yes, but things are so different than the last time they saw each other and she can’t figure out where it is they stand anymore. The Doctor’s words are inviting but Missy isn’t sure she’s actually welcome. She feels unreasonably out of her depth but the Doctor is clearly waiting for an answer so she nods and rises to her feet, doing her best not to wince as she does. 

She takes a shaky step towards her, looking like she’s debating between wanting to either pull her into an embrace or run away as quickly as she can. (Funny, because running has always been the Doctor’s thing, not hers.) She does neither, not moving from her spot. 

The Doctor can practically see all the questions running through Missy’s head but the only one she asks out loud is, “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what? Helping you?” the Doctor asks. She honestly doesn’t know how to answer that, because she doesn’t even know herself, but she tells her, “Because you’re hurt. Come on before I change my mind.”

She turns and opens the door to her TARDIS, stepping in without waiting to see if Missy is following her. Missy enters seconds later, the doors shutting behind her as she takes in the new layout of the ship. _Everything_ has changed and if this were under different circumstances, she would have made a comment about the interior, but now she keeps quiet and simply allows the Doctor to lead her to the console where she waits for what she’ll do next. 

The Doctor doesn’t trust Misst enough to leave her alone in the TARDIS for even a moment, but luckily she always keeps medical supplies in the console room just in case there’s ever an emergency, and she retrieves what she needs in order to get this done as quickly as possible. It should be easy, she’ll fix Missy up and then they’ll be on their separate ways and not have to be with each other for longer than necessary.

Things have never been awkward between the Doctor and the Master but the elephant in the room makes it almost unbearably so. The Doctor has nothing to say — actually, she has far _too much_ to say that she doesn’t know how to or even if she should begin — and the silence that makes itself present in the room is more than enough to be distracting. They have been enemies before, that’s nothing at all new to them, but what used to comfort them was the knowledge that they were still together in some capacity. Missy used to think it was impossible for them to be separated for good from one another, except now she gets the sinking feeling that the Doctor wants absolutely nothing to do with her. 

The Doctor doesn’t even try to be delicate with her when she slides Missy’s jacket off her shoulders and onto the floor, and she takes her arm in her hands to check for what physical injuries she has. She deduces it’s broken and bruised, and drops it from her grasp to check the other arm, a strange satisfaction rising through her as she hears Missy’s quiet, bitten back whimper. She should feel bad for having caused her more pain, but she wants to hear her make that noise again and again and again. 

The Doctor takes a step back and her eyes trail across her face, taking in what she sees. Missy, hurting and fragile. Missy, small and helpless. Missy, belonging only to her. Their gazes meet and the staring match begins, but the loser is already predetermined; they both know which one of them is going to blink first. 

“Doctor,” Missy starts to say, unable to take much more of it being so quiet. Faster than Missy has ever seen before, the Doctor _snaps_. 

“What?” she interrupts, leaning in closer to Missy than she had just been moments ago, voice louder than necessary, all Mr. Volcano. “What do you _want_ from me?”

The outburst evidently takes Missy by surprise, who goes to take a step away but doesn’t get very far when she finds she’s already backed against the console. The Doctor has always been frightening when she’s angry and this time is no different. And Missy, for the first time in all the time she’s known the Doctor, feels intimidated, almost unsafe with her. She’s drowning but for the first time, the Doctor might not rescue her. 

The Doctor stares at her for a long moment and Missy gets the odd feeling that she’s waiting for something. She isn’t quite sure what it is until the Doctor leans forward. She hadn’t been planning to, she _really_ had not been planning to, but all she can think about is how close they are, how Missy’s lips are parted just right, and she can’t help herself when she smashes their lips together in a way that is far from gentle. 

Missy can only get lost in the kiss, immersing herself in the way the Doctor is pressed against her, the feeling of her skin on hers, again after all this time. She drinks her in like she’s been without water for years and years, like she’s going to die if she doesn’t get as much of the Doctor as she possibly can. The pain would be overwhelming if she actually cared about it but she’s only able to focus on the Doctor and how good, despite the circumstances, it is to be with her. 

She loses track of time, and herself, and everything that isn’t the Doctor’s lips connected with her own. It’s difficult to remember who she is. She’s slipping away completely and being replaced by the woman in front of her. This kiss is all she knows, it’s all she’s _ever_ known, having begun in the beginning of time and continuing until everything around them has been destroyed. It’s the first time she’s kissing _this_ body and while it’s physically different, it still feels exactly the same as the first time they ever kissed, lifetimes ago. 

They break apart for air, though it’s only the Doctor who needs to breathe; Missy would have continued until everything in the universe has died except for her and the Doctor. It’s always been that way, the Master has always been dependent on the Doctor for survival. 

The Doctor leans in again, her hand sliding into Missy’s hair, and this time her intent is to _take_. She’s given so much, Missy has stolen so much from her, and now it’s Missy turn to know what it feels like for once. It’s bruising and unrelentless and Missy doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to get enough. 

She can’t help the sounds that escape her, her hands skittering across the Doctor’s back in an attempt to touch as much of her as possible, to get her as close to her as she can. The Doctor pulls away after another moment to try to catch her breath and Missy regains some of her brain capacity back, remembering the reason she’s here in the first place. 

“But what about...” Missy trails off. She’s still hurting, still _burning_ , still aching the worst she’s ever been. She could kiss the Doctor forever but the pain is still there. 

“Do you want this?” the Doctor demands, ignoring the question, her hand in Missy’s hair tightening and _pulling_. Missy is silent, not knowing what to respond with, so she repeats herself. “I asked you a question. _Do you want this?_ ”

“Yes,” Missy answers, shutting her eyes tight. She nods because at this point, she wants anything, _everything_ , the Doctor wants to do to her. “Yes, I want this, please, Doctor—”

“ _Don’t_ call me that. I am _not_ your Doctor,” she says, gripping harder as Missy tries not to gasp out in pain. “I am so much worse than that.”

“I’m... sorry.” She doesn’t know what else she can say but at least this statement is true; she’s never sorry but she is this time, for what she’s done to her best friend.

The Doctor laughs, bitter and ugly. She lets go and Missy, unable to keep herself standing upright any longer, collapses to the floor. “Are you? Have you _ever_ been? I don’t think you have it in you to be sorry.”

“I am, I’m sorry,” she says again. She might be in a lot of physical pain but it is _nothing_ compared to the regret she has for not being there with her, for leaving her all alone. Her eyes sting and she belatedly realizes it’s because they’re filling up with tears. 

She looks up at the Doctor, helpless.

“No, you’re not. Shut up.” It also takes her a moment to realize Missy’s eyes are watering but once she does, it makes her inexplicably _angry_. “No. You don’t get to cry, not after everything you’ve done. I _will_ hit you if you cry.”

Missy doesn’t ever cry but she does now, the tears hot and scorching her skin as they trail down her cheeks. She wants to stop them but can’t, and she’d feel like she’s in the vault all over again, except now she’s being punished for her tears instead of encouraged. 

“I can’t help it,” she tries to say, but she’s not sure if she had any coherency left or if the words actually make it out of her throat or if she’s even still alive at this point. It doesn’t matter anyway because the slap that comes is sudden and sharp, the impact causing her to gasp out in surprise. 

“You may have been able to fool past me with your tears, but I _won’t_ let them fool me now. I know you don’t care about anything other than yourself, and I was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise.” She watches Missy with cold eyes as she tries to calm herself down. Missy appears more broken than the Doctor has seen her in a very long time and that shouldn’t be satisfying for her, but there’s just something about Missy not being the one with the upper hand for once. “After the things you’ve done, I don’t even feel sorry for this. You left them there to burn. You left _me_ . I know deep down you could never understand the pain of that betrayal, but physical pain? You know that well. You’ve done your fair share of inflicting it and now you’re going to learn how to _take it_.”

Whatever reaction she had been expecting to get from Missy, it wasn’t for her to look up at her, eyes piercing and full of hurt and trust, and say, “Please, give me what I deserve.”

“Stand up.” Missy scrambles to obey, trying to ignore the sharp pain that surges through her as she does so. The Doctor pauses, taking in the way Missy’s hands are shaking, the way she watches her carefully, as if worried she’s going to be slapped again at any moment. Her eyes widen in realization and she takes a step closer to Missy, reaching out an arm to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. Missy goes very still, eyes tracking the movement of the Doctor’s hand. She retracts it and tells her, “You’re trembling... You’re _scared_ of me. Which, you’re very, very right to. You know I could kill you this very second. I _should_ kill you right now. There’s nothing stopping me and you’re already halfway there. Can you give me one good reason not to?”

“Please,” is the only thing Missy can say. 

“Please?” she repeats, laughing when Missy looks away, unable to meet her gaze any longer. “You’re really so desperate for me to touch you that you’re willing to die for it? Is that what you want, Missy? Tell me.”

She takes Missy’s chin in her grasp, lifting it so she has no choice but to turn back to her. She doesn’t dare look away again, struggling to ignore the impulse to reach out to the Doctor and never let go.

“I’ll do anything.” She looks sincere, her expression pleading and vulnerable. The Doctor knows she should feel bad for liking seeing Missy like this, for enjoying the power she’s currently holding over her, but she can’t bring herself to stop, especially not when Missy is her most beautiful when she’s in fear. 

“You shouldn’t say _anything_ , you might end up regretting that,” she says, and she’s right. This body is more unpredictable than her last, especially with this kind of thing, and she could easily end up going too far. “You’d really let me kill you if I wanted to, wouldn’t you? You’ve spent the majority of your lives just trying to survive but you’d let me ruin all that in the blink of an eye. That’s pathetic, how you need me _so much_ that you’ll go against everything you stand for. Well, if you want it so badly, ask me for it then.”

“Please kill me.” Missy tries to ignore the urge to look down, away, anywhere that isn’t the Doctor’s face. 

“Beg for it,” the Doctor orders, unable to stop. She wants Missy to pay for everything she’s done. “Properly.”

“Please kill me, Do—” Missy cuts herself off, remembering she hadn’t reacted well to being called that name earlier. “Please, I deserve it. Please.”

“It is very tempting. Maybe I should. Maybe I should make you regenerate and then start right back up until you can’t regenerate anymore,” she admits. “But do you know why as much as I’d like to, I’m not going to do that? Go ahead, ask me why.”

“Why?” Missy asks quietly. 

The Doctor smiles and Missy doesn’t think she’s ever seen her look so deadly. “Because what you deserve even more than to die is to _hurt_. Time Lord’s deaths are already long and painful but you deserve _worse_ than that. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Missy looks at her with the most pitiful eyes the Doctor has ever seen. “Yes, I agree.”

“You will never be good,” the Doctor says, and that hurts Missy more than any of the physical pain she has, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t be bad. Right now, you only exist for me. That’s the only reason why I’m keeping you alive, so I can hurt you the way you deserve. The way you want. The way you have _always_ wanted. You’ve always acted so high and mighty, so above it all, but I know you just want me to have the control over you. I don’t need to be in charge of an entire army. Just you.”

Neither of them does anything for a moment until the Doctor leans down to pull her into another kiss, her eyes shutting as their lips meet again. It seems to last for lifetimes but somehow also feels like hardly a second, Missy so pliant and small underneath her that she can’t get enough. 

She presses Missy against the console, taking her hands and holding them together behind her back. Missy tries to stifle her noise of discomfort but she allows her to do what she wants with her, needing this just as much as the Doctor does. 

The Doctor drags her skirt up, the material vaguely familiar in her hands from all the times she held it a regeneration ago. She leans in, intent on claiming Missy’s neck as her own, her hands roaming across the body they had once known well. 

Missy arches up to get as much contact as she can, the Doctor’s touch on her skin familiar and soothing and needed. She doesn’t try to touch the Doctor herself, figuring that wouldn’t be allowed, and continues to let her do what she wants. 

The Doctor takes a step back and Missy tries not to make a sound at the loss of contact, but she all she does is begin to take off her jacket and braces. She quickly undoes her trousers and brings Missy’s skirt up even higher, then takes her place between her legs. It’s awful and it hurts and it’s _good_ , being with the Doctor like this again. But it’s different, because they’ve always been mentally _connected_ when they’ve done this. Missy automatically reaches out with her mind before she’s even aware she’s done so, searching for the comfort of being fully together with her. 

She hits a block and it takes her a moment to realize it’s because the Doctor has closed herself off, not allowing Missy to get through. The realization makes her blink back tears again and she tries to ignore it, only paying attention to how the Doctor feels physically against her and inside her. It’s not the same but it’s something to hold onto, and she clings to it as hard as she can. She reaches out to the Doctor, but she takes Missy’s hands and pins them above her head. 

She ignores Missy’s tears (if anything, they only further spur her on), intent on taking what she likes and not caring about anything else. Missy is unable to contain the mixture of her own irrevocable pleasure and obvious pain, her whimpers falling helplessly from her lips as the Doctor goes even harder, all of it almost too much. 

“Please,” Missy whispers. She needs more, she needs everything, _needs_ the Doctor. It’s hard to focus on anything else, especially not when the Doctor is increasing her movements as Missy gets more and more debauched. 

The Doctor lets go of Missy’s hands but she doesn’t even try to move them, keeping them above her and ignoring the strain that gets put on her arms from keeping them in the air for so long. The Doctor mumbles something to her that she is too far gone to understand, and she leans in to kiss Missy one last time, finally opens her mind, crashing into Missy’s like a bright stream of light. It blinds her momentarily as the wave of her orgasm hits, but she can soon see clearer than ever.


End file.
